things i've learned
and sometimes (10%) i welcome opinions and ideas and thoughtful comments like "oh your mood swings will go away". (psh - tell that to my husband, who has named my pregnancy personality calypso after the character in pirates of the caribbean.)
and sometimes i completely ignore everything they are saying and just smile and nod while their words go in one ear and out the other. (90%)
there are three things i've learned so far that i've put in to good use and i'm here to share them with you. like i do, you can take them or leave them! you will not hurt my feelings. however, i seem to have no control over calypso so.... ;)
there is no right or wrong way to "do pregnancy" you can read all the books you want, talk to every pregnant woman that ever walked the earth, read every study ever published, and i still think you could do pregnancy better without any of it. i have always said, and still maintain, that God did indeed make our bodies to do exactly this - bring new life into the world. i'm pretty sure that He knew what he was doing... i don't think i need to read a 3,000 page book on what to expect that will mainly just overwhelm and scare the crap out of me.
we have survived, as a civilization, for thousands of years and only within the last 200 been privy to all of the medical knowledge we have now. i'm going to go with all the women who reproduced in the early 1900s (and before then) who managed pregnancy without a weekly doctor's visit and childbirth with nothing but a semi-experienced midwife and a tub of hot water at their side. this is not to say that i will be having a home birth - i'm definitely taking advantage of the hospital and most likely an epidural. i am saying, however, that i will do it my own way, listen to my own body, and do everything i can to keep me comfortable, which in turn will keep my baby comfortable. that is highest on my priority list.
there are no rewards at the end well except for the baby of course. ;) but seriously - you don't get a trophy for having the healthiest pregnancy ever, or gaining the perfect amount of weight, or having a natural birth without an epidural. no one cares as long as mom and baby are both healthy. they don't make any announcements over the intercom or send you home in a limo for having your baby a certain way or without complications.
so the point is to do pregnancy in whatever way you deem fits your lifestyle and make sure it is for the baby's sake that you make all the decisions that you do.
sometimes you just need to talk to someone one of the first questions i asked my OB was for a recommendation for a family therapist. i haven't called yet but i have her card in my purse because i know, somehow, that before this baby gets here i will need to just talk it all out with someone who can give me some professional reassurance about some of my fears.
i know that every new mom is afraid of being a terrible mother and that bringing a child into the world is just cause for freaking out a little. but my fears run much deeper than that, especially given that i wasn't really gung-ho about having a baby in the first place! so i know i can spill my guts here, and all my amazing mommy friends will swoop in and encourage and support me, (and Lord only knows how much it means to me!) but i know talking to a counselor is something i will need to do. and sometimes you just need to do that. i had a friend tell me once that everyone needs a therapist. i agree with this 100%.
i'd love to just hear some of the things you learned about being pregnant while you were pregnant! i still love to talk with other mom's about being pregnant and hearing their stories and advice. please share - i'd love to get a nice conversation started! :)